Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Snowman for Grammie

My grandmother lives in a dark, locked house that's crouched up against a hill. Last weekend, while shoveling her driveway, my parents and I decided to make a snowman. Some sticks and leaves, a few unidentified painted wooden pieces from the garage, and a hat that belonged to my deceased great uncle, and we were done.

But why did we orient it so it's facing her tiny kitchen window instead of the road? Why did we do that?

Now, every day, when my grandmother gets up, makes her cup of coffee, and cautiously pulls back the window blind to see what unspeakable things the hooligans or the mafia or the democrats have gotten up to during the night, she is met with the dispassionate, wall-eyed stare of the slowly melting horror across the driveway. The horror wearing my deceased great uncle's hat.

"Getting the mail today? I don't think so."

I would bash it with a baseball bat, but I don't dare. I just know it would only appear again outside my kitchen window. And I live on the second floor.


  1. Whahahahahahaha! You crack me up. You're funny like your mom, but perhaps a little psychotic.

  2. What is it with grandmas and democrats??

    I think I'd be even more scared if it showed up in MY window, mostly because I live in Louisiana. And that would be, like, an act of God or something.

  3. Don't tempt it, Bridget! We don't know how great its powers are!