Wednesday, February 15, 2012


I do most of my writing in my head as I'm falling asleep or waking up. If I come up with something particularly brilliant, I sometimes manage to muster the capacity, in my barely conscious state, to jot it down.

I thought I would share with you the results of a particularly fruitful session I had this week.

cat eyes are freaking me out

how to kill the parents. windmill?

can we use "motherf$@#er" in a middle grade?


I'm sleeping with him. No, it's midnight. You have to flee.

we think we can make you a dress

rats in clothes. those are poops.

Yes, literary gold. Don't you dare steal my ideas, hosers.

By the way, internet search engines, I feel it's important for you to know that when I search for "rats wearing clothes," the following things should not, in fact, be deemed relevant matches. To be helpful, I have reclassified them for you:
"Bunnies holding hands."
"Mars rover."
. . . well-played, internet. Well-played.