Friday, September 6, 2013

You Are Never Safe

So the contract is signed, the editorial letter has been received, and it's saaamoooooth sailin' from here on out.


You may recognize the creature with the menacing yellow eyes as a cat. You may also recognize the object upon which she is perched as a bathtub, complete with bath water and foot belonging to me.

This is my life now, both literally -- as I am actually taking a bath with a cat standing on the edge of the tub -- and figuratively, as my literal situation is also a metaphor for the insecurity of my writing life as a whole.

This is literally the best "thumbs up" picture on the entire Internet.
For those of you unfamiliar with cats and/or bathtubs, Manic Thumbs-Up Guy will provide a helpful tutorial:


No one wants a cat in a bathtub. Cat + Bathtub = Instant Bloody Razor Agony Death. But cats don't realize this until the instant they are ripping your face off in a frenzied, homicidal attempt to escape the water they just jumped into.

Getting a book deal is a little like a nice warm bath, flowery soaps, all the pencil puzzles and/or Miss Marples you could desire . . . and a cat sitting on the edge.

Because at any moment, for no reason, it could all go horribly, horribly wrong.

If you would like to read about my editor jumping into the bathtub with me, head on over to EMUs Debuts.

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