My dad and I were ALL ABOUT making this stop-action movie called
Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs. And it would have been TOTALLY AWESOME. We bring complementary skills to the table, after all -- I made a stop-action film one time with my writing partner (Barbies in a convertible repeatedly running over . . . a bunny? Rainbow Brite? I don't remember), and my dad worked for 30 years on nuclear submarines and can speak Ancient Egyptian. We were Good to Go.
But production screeched to a halt when, after enough trips to the Dollar Store to enable us to re-shoot
Ben-Hur entirely with dinosaurs (NOTE: IDEA FOR A SCREENPLAY), we realized that one half of our equation was still missing.
Nobody sells plastic cowboys anymore.
I know what you're thinking.
Can't you just make outfits for the 8,000 He-Man figures in that box in the garage? No. How are we going to make the hats? Do you have any idea how to make a 2-inch cowboy hat? Are there, like, patterns on the internet somewhere for people who want to outfit their own tiny cowboy army? (NOTE: IDEA FOR A SHORT STORY)
And now, with Hollywood coming out with
Cowboys vs. Aliens, it seems like the universe just isn't ready for the epic awesomeness that would have been our stop-action
Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs. Aliens? Really? Are they going to fight in space? Because if you send cowboys into space, guess what? They become astronauts. Astronauts vs. Aliens. YAWN. (But if you send dinosaurs into space, they become
Astronaut Dinosaurs. NOTE: IDEA FOR A NOVEL)
So it seems that, as of right now, this awesome Photoshop poster art I made may be as much daylight as
Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs will ever see. 200 years from now,
our cockroach overlords humanity will look at this one, small image -- much like the tiny statuette that is the only remaining image of Khufu, builder of the Great Pyramid -- and wonder what might have been.
UPDATE: Cowboys vs. Aliens was awesome.
